no strings attached

to understand the breadth of this entry, one must have some knowledge of in-ear monitoring. at the church i work at we use what are called aviom monitors…

there are two kinds of avioms. i usually use wireless ears, but this morning i happened to use a wired system. which means i am attached via a 6 foot cable to an aviom unit that is attached to a music stand. don’t worry this will become very important later. anyway, this weekend our services happened to be racked with technical difficulties, so as i sat and watched another technical mishap unfold, i sensed that some assistance may be needed in resolving the issue. keep in mind, i am dead center on a stage in a sanctuary that seats 1400. we’re in the middle of our 8:45 service, which is code-word for “the traditional, formal service”. the song amazing grace starts to play. “aha, my opportunity to quietly slip out and bring salvation to the technical disaster that is unfolding upstairs,” i think to myself. “i’ll just quickly and quietly slip out while i’m not playing on this slow song.” i put down my guitar, turn, and briskly but stealthily head for the hallways on the side of the stage…home free. suddenly, i feel a jerk on my pants pocket, and a look of panic from the other guitarist, phil. all in a moment i start to put together what is about to happen, but it is too late relinquish the momentum of the series of events that had already been put in motion. so as the congregation was singing in reverent worship…CRASH!!! the aviom cable still attached to my pants yanked over my music stand, music papers flying everywhere, then the stand falling knocked over the stool i was sitting sending it reeling off the platform it was situated on. it was one of the most glorious moments of my life. awkward does not even begin to describe it.

so what’s the moral of this little fable?

#1 don’t deviate from what you know, especially when you are in front of a thousand or so people. i was so used to using the wireless system with the freedom of movement it allowed. why did i have to deviate? why? spontaneity kills when it throws your instincts off, because that’s all you have to react with. #2 don’t get so fixed on other people’s issues that you create a host of your own trying to save them. it was a very humbling thing to go from the guy who was going to swoop in and save the worship experience to the guy who ended up being the biggest distraction of all. #3 if you are going to do something stupid, pick an uptempo song, where you may be far less noticed. and if you’re going to be smooth, it’s better to do it with no strings attached.